So, a year passed and we’re still here crying after their break-up like it happened yesterday. Beyond this I don’t want to write a sad thing -I actually don’t even know what to write, I’m a bit confused- I just want to let everything I feel exit from my black little heart.
It seems yesterday we were excited for the new album and dreamed to go to a concert and scream out of our lungs and cry of happiness and, why not, meet them at least to say them: “Thank you”, those two words that seem to be too simply but that mean everything.
This morning while I was going to school I turned on my Ipod and The End began. “If you look in the mirror and don’t like what you see, you can find out firsthand what it’s like to be me.” omg, it’s me. This song seems to talk about me and not only for this phrase. A word came up to my mind: “Why?”
Then Disenchanted, I almost cried but I couldn’t because I was in front of people (oh, what a surprise, I’m used to hide when I have to cry). This song helped me so much… it’s never been one of my favourites but on a day it helped me to get out a very dark period that lasted nearly a year. Yes, it’s unbelievable and neither I know how it’s been possible but after a year I passed crying many times a day, I suddenly felt like I was wasting my life crying for what I didn’t like in it and finally decided to face my problems -that anyone knowed and still anyone knows- and that day I listened to Disenchanted and it gave me the strenght to get up and fight. Now 5 months passed and I’m still fighting and none of the problems I had before it’s been solved but I know that now that I can beat them because I’m strong, because they taught me how to be so and how to keep running. But a word came up to my mind: “Why?”
When I heard the first notes of Welcome To The Black Parade, my heart broke a little more… it’s the first song I’ve ever heard of them, when I was 9 and I didn’t like it, I was afraid of them and now I regret I didn’t start listening to them at the time. Anyway this song it’s a hand to cling to when you’re falling down, the song to listen to when you think you’re lost and I say “think” because you’re not really so and this song will make you understand this and will always be there for you, everytime you think it to remember you that you’re not. But a word came up to my mind: “Why?”
Then The World Is Ugly started and I didn’t manage to hold the tears at the “stop your crying, helpless feeling, dry your eyes and start believing” because these words help me every day, when I feel alone, useless, when I think that the world could be better without me and that if I’d suddenly disappear only few people would notice it, when I feel like I’m not enough, that no one likes me. But a word came up to my mind: “Why?”
Then The Light Behind Your Eyes… I’M STRONG AND I WON’T EVER LET ANYONE TAKE THE LIGHT BEHIND MY EYES, THERE ALWAYS BE BAD MOMENTS BUT I KNOW THAT I MUST BE STRONG AND I WILL BE.
I arrived at school and had to turn my Ipod off… a word came up to my mind: “Thanks.”
My Chemical Romance broke up but their teaching will always live in us and make us go ahead. If we’ll ever feel alone, rejected, confused, lost, anxious, wrong, wronged, unclean, angry, ashamed, curious, used we know that MCR will always be there for us to repeat us that we must be strong, we must carry on, we must keep running, we must fight anything tries to beat us and that we could do it, because we are the Killjoys and we CAN do it.
So, thank you guys, you will never know how much you did and keep doing for me and how you make my life better.
Thank you because you give me the strenght to fight.
Thank you because you hold my hand and take me out of darkness.
Thank you because you made me understand that art is a powerful weapon.
Thank you because you taught me to not follow the mass and be unique in my way, “stay beautiful, keep it ugly”, remember?
Thank you because you taught me to walk my way without fear when everyone tries to stop me.
Thank you for everything.